*throws apple into hospital* *doctors hiss and scurry away from it*
nineteen - psych major - spanish minor - talents include making bad puns and laughing at my own jokes
My iphone corrects “duck” to “fuck”. Life goal achieved.
my brother’s toenail fell off and he just looked at me and went “it’s the toe-zen one”
he’s getting it removed and he told the nurse “neither can live while the other survives” and the nurse lost her shit
we got home and he went “i can’t feel my toe. my toesies is frozies”
he keeps looking at his missing toenail and just sighed and went “here toeday, gone toemorrow” and went into his room